Jingle Bells, Lucas Smells
by SamiJane
Summary: An OTH Holiday Parody. Jingle bells, Lucas smells. Peyton cries all day. Nate and Hales like to nail. Brooke Brooked herself insane. Hey!


_This is what floats around Sami Jane's head when she hears Christmas music for four hours straight on a lonnnnggg ass road trip_

_Enjoy this Tree Hill holiday treat from me to you :)  
_

_(This is a parody, so don't take offense)  
_

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**Jingle Bells, Lucas Smells  
**

_By: SamiJane_

_Genre: Parody_

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Lucas Scott hardly ever listens to the radio. Lucas Scott hardly ever listens to any musical piece of work that is not already on his I pod. Lucas Scott hardly ever pays attention to any musical suggestion from people other than Peyton Sawyer, and maybe Nathan Scott. But most of all, Lucas Scott _never _ever listens willingly to any song or diddy flowing from the vocal chords of the one and only Chris Keller. But, on this uncharacteristically below freezing December night, Lucas Scott hears a song that piques his interest, a song that actually makes him laugh _with_, and not at, the ego-tastic rockstar. _"And now, by popular demand," the radio DJ announces, "here again is Tree Hill's own Chris Keller with: 'Jingle Bells, Lucas Smells.'_"

_

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(A/N: Sing this to the tune of "Jingle Bells")_

Cruising through Tree Hill

Crazy peeps galore

Dan Scott likes to kill

Bitchtoria's a whore

Rachel's a hot mess

Keller's hard to hate

Bevin don't know right from left

And Timmy adores Nate

_

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Refrain:_

_Oh! Jingle bells, Lucas smells_

_Peyton cries all day_

_Nate and Hales like to nail_

_Brooke Brooked herself insane Hey!_

_Jingle bells, Lucas smells_

_Peyton cries all day_

_Nate and Hales like to nail_

_And Brooke Brooked herself insane_

* * *

A year, no six ago

P Sawyer took a ride

With boyfriend Nathan Scott

No longer by her side

She almost ran Luke down

They never will forget

Was it really destiny?

What if they never met?

_

* * *

Refrain_

* * *

Playing in the streets

Lucas likes to score

Brooke-dreams wet his sheets

But Peyton he loves more?

Dude, just pick a side

And end the see saw ride

Broody's lame ass never can pick

Between those two hot chicks

_

* * *

Refrain_

* * *

Nate the jerk ass jock

Soon found his true amore

They wed and all were shocked

Jerk Nathan is no more

Now caring and so sweet

With a bod so buff

A shirtless Nate is sure a treat

You Girls can't get enough

_

* * *

Refrain_

* * *

It's People Always Leave

And Peyton Always Grieves

Jagielski and Pete Wentz

Her Snuf-fle-up-a-gus

To Davis she admits

She'll always love Luke Scott

Brooke slapped the "two faced lying bitch"

And, Oh yeah, she was shot

_

* * *

Refrain_

* * *

Cheery rich girl Brooke

Never cared before

Until Broody Luke

Knocked on her red door

She fosters Sam the teen

And wants a baby, too

Once flashed the screen, Miss Prom Queen

Hoes o'er Bros woo hoo!

_

* * *

Refrain_

* * *

Sweet Haley does rock on

As tutor girl and mom

With her five year son

She ran through a corn farm

Her middle name is Bob

She threw up on Dan Scott

Rockstar, teacher, young wed ma

Damn, get this girl a shot

_

* * *

Refrain_

* * *

Tiny Jim Jam Scott

Steals the scene each time

He dances to hip hop

And can bust a rhyme

But trouble always prowls

And bullies sometimes lurk

Cornfields, Nannies, Swimming Pools

What more could go beserk?

_

* * *

Oh! Jingle bells, Lucas smells_

_Peyton cries all day_

_Nate and Hales like to nail_

_Brooke Brooked herself insane Hey!_

_Jingle bells, Lucas smells_

_Peyton cries all day_

_Nate and Hales like to nail_

_And Brooke Brooked herself insane_

* * *

_"And that, listeners, was Chris Keller's hit Christmas song, inspired by our very own Lucas Scott's two best selling novels: An Unkindness of Ravens and Another Unkindness of Ravens."_

The dimpled grin of Lucas Scott is still amusingly plastered on his face when he dials a familiar number. "Hales," he greets with a hearty laugh, "You've got to hear this."

_

* * *

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_A/N: My mind is a little crazy right now; hence the total randomness of a song parody. I have one for the 12 Days of Christmas, too. If my friends think it's funny enough, I'll post it up on here. _

_If you want to post this somewhere else, feel free, just please give credit :)  
_

_And Review if you enjoyed :) _

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!


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